What are you seeking?

What are you seeking?
A very important question posed by Jesus himself. Fun fact: these are the first words of Jesus the gospel John records. That question is vital for life. Once you discover what you’re seeking everything else falls into place. Life has meaning when you know what you are seeking. Seek means to find. So, what are you looking for? In the culture we live in, we seek more of this world; more success, more credit. We seek more. That’s backwards. John 10:10 says,
“10 The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”
Christ died for us to have more, but we still strive to find more in the world. I have been struggling with doubts and reverted to my old ways of looking for my affirmation in the people around me. Girls, by nature, like compliment from people and if is a compliment from a guy we are over the moon. But we shouldn’t strive to get our compliments, our worth from the people around us. God says we are worth more than a whole flock of sparrows (Matthew 10:31).
One day, my mom gave me two cents for helping around the house. I stared at those two pennies for minute and the lies were assaulting me. I am only worth to pennies?
I was quick to rebuke that lie with truth, God says I am worth more than sparrows.
It is so easy to forget God thinks you’re worth dying for and solely rely on what others think of you. I have been living in the state of relying on others, on others thoughts of me and others opinions. I kind of recognized this, but it became apparent to me when my mentor pointed it out in me. It felt like a punch to the gut. I knew I had relied too much on others. When my true worth comes from the Lord, not others opinions. It says in Isaiah 55:8-9,
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts”
That verse says what other people think of me has no comparison to what God thinks of me. His thoughts and opinions are what matter, not those of others. Nothing anyone says about me should really matter, but it does.
So, what are you seeking?
Are you seeking approval from others or from God, your creator, who thinks you are worth dying for.
I am trying to retrain my brain to believe everything God thinks about me is true. He says there is no flaw in me (song of Solomon 4:7) I am worth dying for (John 3:16) and I am a citizen of Heaven (Philippians 3:20)
All of that is true for you. Believe it. God does.


Finding Meaning

‘” For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”’-Jeremiah 29:11
After I graduated high school, I meditated on the above verse for the next three years. I had confidence that God had a future for me, but there were times when that was hard for me to believe. I different things to find my thing, but all of those endeavors ended in failure. I was back at square one. A whole bucket of disappointment. My view in those endeavors was on what I planned, not what God had planned for me. Paul writes in Ephesians 3:20, “ Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” I knew God had big things in store for me, but I wasn’t keen on waiting for them. Hints the bucket of disappointment.
Now three years later I feel like I have found God’s plan for me. life is like a book,
“You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.”-Psalm 139:16
And after twenty-three years, I feel like I am on the same page with God. I feel like He is pulling me into the purposes He has for me. At my church, they say,
“Do what you’re good at for the glory of God,”
People tell me I am good at writing, but when I go back and read what I wrote I am in awe about the words. There is no way I could have written that without the Holy Spirit coursing through my veins. I am good at writing so I will be doing that to bring God glory. All credit I get for writing is His. My name may be on the cover, but He was the mastermind, I was just the vessel. When my sights are set on God, plans are fulfilled. When my sights are set on God’s view, my life has purpose. When we recognize the reality of God, our lives take on meaning and purpose. When we set our sights higher than what we want our lives take on meaning and purpose, a meaning given by God and a purpose only provided by the One True King.
I know what it feels like to be purposeless, I know what it is like to be waiting on a meaning. I know what its like to feel like to go through the motions. You may be struggling with those same things, but I’ve got news for you.
God has a plan for your life and there is nothing you can do to fall out of that plan. He has the meaning of your life hidden in His book, it just takes some time to discover it. Remember the promise of Psalm 37:7,
“Be still in the presence of the LORD,
and wait patiently for him to act.”
I know waiting is hard, but just remember discomfort is necessary for transformation.


Trust vs. Worry

This morning my devotional scripture reading was from Luke 12:22-28,
“Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life[a]? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? “Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith!” (Luke 12:22-28, NIV)
That passage reminded me of a conversation I had with a girl on Wednesday. I left God telling me that I needed to pray for her. When I asked her how I could pray for her, she replied, ‘I need to trust God with things out of my control’. I prayed for her and was prompted by God to ask her what she was worried about. The opposite of trust is worry. Worry means we are concerned with our circumstances. Trusting means we are releasing the outcome of those circumstances.
I have spent the last twenty years as a worrier. I used to worry over pretty much everything. From the fight I was having with my friend to my house burning down, and everything in between. It was about the time I turned twenty I learn the truth of Matthew 7:27, “Can all of your worries add a single moment to your life?” that verse is reiterated in Luke 12: 25. And I am going to pose an answer to Jesus’ question, a big fat resounding NO! worrying over the things that may or may not happen won’t add anything to your character. It won’t add anything to the you, you are. I have tried this life without God’s trust and, uh, it didn’t work. I failed. It took me a lot of failures to realize I needed to place my focus in a more secure place. I placed my focus on Jesus, the author and perfect of my faith (Hebrews 12:2). When we drop the bags of worry at the door and embrace the trust God is offering, life becomes so much easier. We become less focused on how can I fix it and more focused on what God can do with this mess.
I am really struggling to believe God will come through for me, but I must trust that he will make a way for me to come through. He will split my seas of worry with His trust and I will make it through. It’s all gonna be ok.
Life is not going to be easier, but with trusting in God it can be. There will always be another wave of worries, every day has its own (Matthew 6:34) but God can still them with his trust and love. Remember when the waves of worry start to over take you, the truth in John 16:33,
“I have told you these things, so that you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble! But take heart I have overcome the world.” (NIV)
Jesus said you will have trouble not you might have problems. He knew this life was hard and he knew we would worry over things. When the temptation arises to worry, remember Jesus can walk on top of your waves of worry. He is the overcomer!!



You are working through this waiting
You will give me the strength to wait
You don’t waste waiting periods
You are working when I don’t feel it.
Working through the tears and fears
Send me comfort when the doubts try to seep in
The doubts that say I am not worth it
You say I am


Keeping the memory in Memorial Day 

Memorial Day found me in t 



  ears. I was crying because of the insensitivity of people. For a lot of folks, Memorial Day is a day off work and a day at the beach. However it’s not just any other day. Memorial Day should be a day of reverent remembering and grateful thanksgiving. Someone is working overtime so you can have a day off and your day at the beach was brought to you by their day at the beach. 

If people weren’t willing to fight for our freedoms, we would always, everyday even when we’re feeling under the weather, we would be at work and we wouldn’t dare go to a beach. 

All thanks and gratitude goes to those who are protecting these words I write. Freedom isn’t free, people fought and died to give the right to go to the beach and take a day off. 

We should think about those buried in Arlington National Cemetery and we should think about those who have lost their lives on the other side of the world. All to us freedom. 

I was upset on Memorial Day because the radio stations did not play patriotic music, they continued on like it was any other day. 

Where was Lee Greenwood when I needed him?? 

I am proud to be an American and my heart is hurting for the families of those who have given the the ultimate sacrifice. Those are the real heroes of life, not the Marvel Superheroes or Superman. Capes are cool, but my heroes wear Army Green, Navy Blue, Marine Uniforms. 

We live in the home of the free because of brave! 

Thank you to all who serve in any branch of the military. 

You Matter!! 


God Only Knows

I have been pondering upon my future lately, which is silly. God only know what the future holds for me. only God know when and where I’ll be in one, five, ten years.

“My future is in your hands.”-Psalm 31:15

He is the only one who knows what is down the road for me. I can spend all my time trying to figure out my future or leave it in His capable hands. Honestly, that’s the last place, I think to leave it. I’ll beat the possibilities until they are tired.  I am a very future- minded individual. I think about my future husband, if I’ll have children, my future career, etc.

How stupid is it too be so focused on what may or may not happen?

God only knows what the future holds. He has seen our lives from being to end. (Psalm 139:16) if our desires are meant to be they’ll be. I am leaning on the promise of Psalm 37:4,

Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you your heart’s desires.” 

He doesn’t place a desire in our heart without the promise to fulfill it. Join in with me as we place all our hopes, and dreams, in His capable hands.



My word for 2018, is grow. The verse behind that word is 1 Corinthians 3:6,

“I planted the seed in your heart, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow.”

I first accepted Jesus, when I was seven. Then it was more of a peer pressure thing, than a yearning in my heart. At seven, the faith I had was passed down to me from my parents. In the years that followed, I was beaten by temptations that I gave into. I battled with depression and anxiety. I wasn’t anything like the person I am today.

In the February of 2014, is when I would say my journey with God began. I felt a yearning in my heart to accept Jesus, it was done of my own accord.  Even though I really recognized my need for a Savior, it didn’t mean those temptations quit and I never felt hopeless again. Soon after that I experienced the worst bout with depression I have had. It got so bad, I was writing my suicide note. Something stopped me from finishing it, and I’ll never regret not finishing it. That bout with depression was the worst time of my life, but it was also one of the best. I had to rely on Christ’s strength and believe He was still at within  me.

“My Father is always working and so am I.” –John 5:17

That was a hard season, but it prepared me for what was around the corner. The heartbreak of 2016, was a growing experience for sure. In 2017, I was trying to piece my heart back together after that heart break, it wasn’t working on my own. I had to come to a place of surrender and ask God, to take me and mold me into the person I needed to be. He was right there to rescue me and restore me.

“I entrust my spirit into your hand. Rescue me, Lord for you are a faithful God.”-Psalm 31:5

So that where I came from. That’s the starting point for my growth this year. In order to grow you have to know where you’re growing from.

In 2018, I want to grow in a faith of my own.

In 2018, I want to grow closer to my Savior.

In 2018, I want to grow into the person I need to be.

The best is yet to come…