I was working on a post about hope, when my cousin texted me Isaiah 26:3,
“You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.”
She knows me so well that she probably knows I’m stressing over things I have no control over. And that assumption I correct. Last week I was riding stress on an emotional roller coaster, that was terrible! When I would be in tears people told me ‘It’ll be okay. it’ll be okay, is what my head I telling my heart. but it does seem to calm my racing heart. The one thing that will calm me is quality time with Jesus. Last weekend, I had planned to have an awesome me&Jesus weekend and it didn’t work out that way. it turned out to be a very stressful weekend. but last Friday night I pulled an all-nighter with Jesus. it was a precious time that I will remember for years. I laid on the couch and watched Bethel Music lyric videos and cried. that cry and being with Jesus was what I need to face this week, not to say I haven’t cried this week.
one of my favorite Bible verses is found in Psalms. Psalms 46:10,
“Be still and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
I am beating myself up for forgetting that verse while these dark storm clouds hovered over me. it flashed in my mind when my cousin texted me! I have been so caught up in what I can’t fix, and left God the sideline. And I need Him to take some of this stress off of me and place my heart in a peaceful place. I want peace at heart.
I want peace, peace in my heart. you know what I’m dealing with probably better than I do. you know the peace I need and the peace we all need. We need peace in our communities and peace in our lives. Awaken us to your precious peace.
in Jesus Name, Amen
After writing this I feel so much better. having a blog was the best idea ever.
I am so stressed out and I hate it. I hate having so much on my plate that I am overwhelmed.
Fun Fact: When dealing with stressed Mary Hannah, let her bake something. it doesn’t matter what, but baking makes me feel so much better. Baking helps me reconnect with my grandmother. Baking was something we shared. We made some great memories over her Kitchen Aid mixer! It been three years now since she’s been gone, but it feel like yesterday. No one will ever know just how close we were. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss her. especially right now during this season of life, when I really want to cry. she would say, ‘Girls don’t need a reason to cry’. Actually whenever I’m in a mood let me bake.
This morning during my Jesus time, I was on my knees crying out to Him.
‘I cant handle this God, take this from me.’
in Mark 14:36, Jesus crys out to God to take this cup from him, to be put to death on the cross for you and me.
I was crying out that God would take my overflowing cup of emotional stress from me and when I stood up I felt a release, a weight lifted off my shoulders. But I still feel like I need to bake something. I’m human and I am still stressing. Humans stress over irrational things when they know God is in control of the situation. I felt like I was in over my head in emotional stress and I heard Bethel Music’s In Over My Head (my new fave, I cant share the video b/c my laptop is stupid and 3 years old, but I recommend looking it up on youtube). And realized even when I am drowning in stress, I am still drowning in His unending, unfailing, perfect love.
There has been a picture in my mind of a father greeting a child with open arms. Arms of love. I think back to the Prodigal Son ( Luke 15:11-31) and how he thought his father was gonna take him bac as a slave, but his dad was was so happy and joyful when his son was in sight; he threw a PARTY!
I think God has been waiting for my moment of surrender and today we threw a party! today was a good day(including free coffee, great conversation and an awesome movie with friends) after that moment of surrender and I will cherish that moment forever! . And it has been a long time coming, but I have surrendered my stress into those loving arms. And it feels so good!
not so stressed