Faithful to a fault

God is faithful even when I am falling apart.

I really thought that guy was the one for me. The one to hold me when life got too tough, the one to be there when I called. My heart felt at ease around him and didn’t feel like I needed to be someone I’m not around him. He was not the one in the plan for my life. God has closed that door. I was already trying to move on from him, but it still hurts. Without even realizing it, I had been reserving my  heart for that one guy. His name was on my heart. 

This morning I am a little heartbroken and fighting the voice in my head that are telling me.

I am not enough.

The definition for enough is sufficient.

For the past week God has put the word,‘sufficient’ in my heart. Now, it all makes sense. When He first brought that word to mind, I was thinking of 2 Corinthians 12:9.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” ESV

Today I have a different interpretation,

I believe He was telling me that I am enough for Him. He is never going to leave me dry. He will NEVER choose someone over me. He will be there whenever I call.

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. By the time, I meet the man I am going to marry I’ll be so strong. My foundation will not be moved.

“He is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken.”-Psalm 62: 6ESV

I may be heartbroken, but I know God will be faithful to lead me through this painful path.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. “-Psalm 34:18 ESV

L-O-V-E

I’ve heard the best writing comes from the heart. No one knows my heart better than God. And my heart, hurts for something new. This year marks year eleven without a Valentine.  I was asked today if its hard for me on Valentines Day. My answer was no its harder on Christmas for me. All the songs and it seems that the holiday is oriented around couples.

My heart is ready for a love that will outlast the storms of life. yes that is what my heart want, but I also know what the Word of God says,

“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem,
    by the gazelles and wild deer,
    not to awaken love until the time is right.” -Song of Solomon 2:7 (NLT) 

Awaken love until the time is right.

I may be ready to accept love, but God may have different plans for my life. I believe that this season of loneliness does not tell my story.

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”-Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) 

I know I might be single for a number of years more, but God will transform it to good.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together^[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”-Romans 8:28 (NLT)

Just what has been on my heart.

Until next time,

MH

Swimming Up Stream

“You just say what’s on your mind?” 

I replied, “Yep!” 

God has been reminding me of that conversation to tell me I live in a state of fear. To be honest, I rarely say what’s on my mind. Fear stops me from opening my mouth. I fear being misunderstood, judged, or worse… rejected.

I will go with the flow instead of being the salmon going up stream.

I have been misunderstood and rejected in the past and am working toward to that not happening again. Rejection for me has been heartbreak and for the record, it didn’t feel good. However, I made it through that heartbreak and believe what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  Rejection is a part of life. It is a lousy part of life, but still a part of life. That is also why I don’t expose to much of my heart to strangers. I am a girl who DOESN’T wear her heart on her sleeve.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”- Proverbs 4:23

I hold that as a verse near and dear to my heart. if I lose my heart, I’ll lose who I am, which is why I have to see if someone’s motives are true before I remove my mask. 

My biggest fear is rejection. I want to be liked to be loved, but I understand that not everyone is going to like me. I can be very blunt about what is on my mind, but only on special occasions. Rejection is my best fear today, but in years gone by I was afraid of the dark, that is until I found the light that outshines the darkness (John 1:5). I was afraid of my house catching fire, then I realized what will worrying over that add to my life (Matthew 6:27 NLT).  Being rejected is a constant fear of mine, but I will lean into the One who will never leave me, never abandon me, reject me, or forsake me.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”

Hebrews 13:8 NLT