Nobody’s perfect

I screwed up on Saturday. I fell victim to satan’s lie that pulling up a picture of porn would make me feel better. It didn’t. But no body’s perfect.

“ For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”-Romans 3:23 ESV

I know I should have just stopped at that first thought of pulling up those videos, but still, I did. Yesterday my daily Bible verse was Romans 8:38-39 

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor dept, nor anything else in all creation, will be able toseparate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ESV

I took that verse as a wink from God. A confirmation that He knew before I was born, I would have this specific struggle and He still loves me. There is NOTHING that can separate my heart from His love! 

I think I needed take a step back to be led forward. 

“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.”-Philippians 3:12-13 NLT

Have felt like God has been leading me into a new season for a while. I believe I needed to take a step back into my past for God to lead me forward. This new season could be several different things, but I am not worried I am holding the Author’s hand. He has a season for EVERYTHING under the sun and I am here for whatever He has for me. 

I honestly believe that I had to face my past to be prepared for His plan for me. This past week I have been bombarded with memories of the good times I had in my past relationship. And I didn’t know why God was bring that to mind. I know, His preparing my heart for something better. I have learned to move on to the future, we must acknowledge our memories from the past. Those happy times happened and move on. 

“Every day is a new day, and you’ll never be able to find happiness if you don’t move on.”

-Carrie Underwood

If you have been following me long you know that moving on is not something I do easily, but it’s necessary for growth. This morning I journaled, 

‘If nothing ever changed there would be less butterflies…’ the next phrase shocked me. I wrote, 

‘Change can be beautiful.’ 

Change to me has always been scary and it’s the unknown of it that makes us (or maybe it’s just me) weary of it. There is nothing to fear about change when we are holding God’s hand. 

“For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”-Philippians 2:13 NLT 

God may be leading me into a season of change and that’s okay, I know when I am scared who I will run too! 

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.”-Psalm 20:7 ESV

PG-13

I have always loved the verse in Proverbs that says, 

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”-Proverbs 4:23 NLT 

I read it this morning and like a lightning bolt something clicked in my head. 

We don’t need to just guard our hearts, but our minds, our thoughts, our eyes. What we see on TV will dictate our actions, which is why Paul says,

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”-Philippians 4:8 NLT 

This afternoon I was watching a movie and I found out a few minutes in, that it was rated R. I have set a boundary on my heart that I won’t watch anything above a PG-13 rating. So, I turned it off and I sat down at my laptop to compose this. My flesh wants to finish that movie, “because it can’t be that bad.” But the Spirit inside of me knows that’s a bad idea, it could lead me down a rabbit hole I’ve been down before and don’t want to go down again. 

1 John 4:4 says, 

 “Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” ESV

I am guarding my heart and the One who lives in me is greater than that evil worldly spirit. I can withstand the flaming arrows of the enemy. 

“In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;”-Ephesians 6:16 ESV 

Life is hard; don’t just wear a helmet, put on the whole armor of God. 

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”-Ephesians 6:10-11 NLT

Life is hard, we need more than just a helmet. We need the whole armor of God. 

The belt of truth 

The Breastplate of righteousness 

The shield of faith 

The helmet of salvation 

The sword of the Spirit 

And your running shoes to spread the Gospel of peace

Until next time, 

Stay strong! 

MH

Gratitude

Happy May and Monday!! 

It’s a new month and a new week! Everything that happened yesterday is left in April and last week. April for me was a lot. I felt like I was driving fast through life, and I just need to slow to neutral. April 14th, put the gas in my tank. I went to a Brandon Lake concert; if you don’t know who Brandon Lake is, I recommend getting acquainted. YouTube search Gratitude, Brandon Lake and that can be your introduction. Any of his songs are great, you can’t go wrong with anything he sings. 

Do it right now, I’ll wait. 

Good right? 

That’s Brandon Lake. I saw him perform Gratitude live and it was the fuel I needed for the rest of the month. I didn’t know what the rest of that month held, but God knew. He knew that I needed to start there. To start by remembering how good He is. The faithfulness of the Father. 

 “The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh every morning.”-Lamentations 2:22-23 NLT 

I was high on the mountain of God. I felt the Spirit move in me during the concert and was a complete mess during the concert. A snotty, blubbery, mess, but one that feels like she’s living free. I heard a friend say, “The closer we get to Jesus the more we cry.”  I love that quote, because when the Spirit moves in me, I ALWAYS get emotional. Tears are not a sign of weakness, but tears show that something is going on in you and you don’t know how to express it. When I got home from that amazing, God-centered weekend, I got the upsetting news that a friend wasn’t doing well. She did end up passing away. It hit me harder than I was expecting. 

For a girl, who doesn’t cry often. 

I wept. 

But you know when Jesus lost someone close to Him, He also wept. It shows us His humanity and His divinity. After He weeps, He raises His bud from the dead. Lazarus was name, and all we know about him is that He was Jesus’ friend. I’m guessing a close friend. When death finds us, it’s our fleshly impulse to cast the blame on someone else. It’s hard for us to wrap our mind around that God might have had them go to Him for a reason. Martha, one of Lazarus’ sisters, cast the blame on Jesus, 

“Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”-John 11:20 NLT 

For the first time in my life, I wasn’t mad at God for taking Ms. Julia. 

Ms. Julia was an older lady, who I sat with on an as needed basis. A native of Puerto Rico, she had broken English and was 95 years old, but despite our differences we had fun together. I know that God needed her up in Heaven for a reason.  

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose.”-Romans 8:28 NIV 

It may hurt right now, but I have confidence that she is in Heaven. The last thing, I heard her say was “I just want to die.” I believe she knew the promise made in Revelations, 

“And the one who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.”- Revelations 21:5a ESV.

She would be made new. 

She would be walking freely. 

Dementia wouldn’t be a hinderance. 

And back at her best self. Made wholly new, without flaw. 

Ms. Julia’s passing hasn’t left me feeling down, instead I am filled with hope and gratitude. Hope that I will see here again and gratitude for the times we shared. 

The time she grabbed my hand and told me, “You’re so nice.” And the time I had to look for her dentures to eat supper! The things I did for this job! My time in Ms. Julia land (as my dad called my time over there) is something I will cherish in my heart. 

Right after her funeral, I went to my first housesitting job of this year, and I feel like I have been driving high since then. When, I haven’t, but I feel like I need to slow down to at least 60, before I am forced to come to a complete stop. My word for this nextmonth, is rest. I just need to take a step back and look at the blessings God has given me in April and to just breathe. I have jobs lined up this month and it could be stressful to some, but for me it is a chance to breathe in a new place. This weekend, I will be working, (watching a dog and a cat) and I hope that I will be able to rest.

“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”-Psalm 23 ESV

He will restore my soul and not leave me wanting but satisfy every need I have. He’s a good, good, Father. 

“If you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him.”-Matthew 7:11 CEB 

The opener from Brandon Lake was Benjamin William Hastings and he sang a song titled, The Thing About Praise and the chorus says,

The only way through it is a hallelujah.

Sometimes the only thing to do is give it to You.

That has become the motto of this past season. I need to give it to the Lord and let him handle the issue. He is big enough to handle everything I don’t know how to. 

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened (by religious rituals that provide no peace) and I will give you rest (refreshing your souls with salvation).”-Matthew 11:28 AMP

That is my prayer for my weekend. I challenge you if you are feeling overwhelmed or just that you are running on empty, get away, go outside, take a walk. Fresh air is some of the best medicine. 

Until next time, 

Stay strong,

MH