Broken,but Beautiful

We all have scars. Scars from our past. Whether literal, physical, emotional, spiritual, or mental, we all have scars from who we used to be.
I have a literal 4-inch scar in my scalp. When I was 17months old, I was diagnosed with a rare blood disorder called Lingerhan Cell Histiocytosis (LCH). LCH presents itself when your white blood cells mass produce. When the white blood cells mass produce they erode the bone and/or tissue around them. In my case, those little boogers eroded holes in my skull and part of my pituitary gland. I don’t remember anything from that point of my life, I was broken.
And I also have emotional and spiritual scars from my temptations that turned to bad habits to addictions. I was very broken at that point and I’m still not out of that completely.
But I have been broken more often than whole in my life, many more times than I have shared. But God takes our brokenness and turns it into something beautiful.
I’m not saying there will be times I will not be broken again, but now I know God will make this into beauty.
I am broken,but I am beautiful.


Amazing Grace

“Amazing Grace” by John Newton has grown to be my favorite hymn. from the time I was young my love for the hymn sprouted. I would have to have the hymn sung to me every night before I would go to sleep.

“Amazing Grace” was written by John Newton. John Newton was many things,but a Godly person. He was a deserter from the Navy, flogged, abused, and a slave trader. Newton was the captain of his own ship and one night at sea when a violent storm-swept the sea the ship was sailing. When Newton realized all was lost and they would surely sink, he cried out to God. “Lord, have mercy on us.” John Newton encountered God and his life flipped. From a slave trader to servant of God. Newton then decided to become a preacher and wrote the hymn we now sing in church. “Amazing Grace” was published in 1779 and is still relevant today.

Amazing Grace is my favorite hymn and it was not until this past weekend that the truth of it was revealed to me.

“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me…”

“Amazing Grace” was given that day Jesus was nailed to the cross. I still don’t know how God must have felt to see his son hanging on a cross for the sins that hadn’t been committed yet; I guess I can ask him that fine day.

“how sweet the sound”

the sweet sound of amazing grace will be heard on that fine day, when the trumpets sound and we are called home.

‘Wretch’ is a word that we may say, but have no idea what it means. the two definitions of ‘wretch’ I found were,

“an unfortunate or unhappy person.”

“a despicable or contemptible person”

I guess John Newton would fit the bill for being a wretch, he was a slave trader after all. but I guess I have fallen in to that category. I have been unhappy about the life that God has planned for me. this past summer I lost family two members  and it felt like God had turned his back on me. it was not until this past weekend when I had a mini-confessional with my small group leader  that, I knew God still loved me and hadn’t forgotten about me.

“I once was lost, but I am found.”

for a long time, maybe since last July, I felt like there was a wall put up around me and I fell into my old habits that were not altogether healthy. this weekend can remember the exact  moment I found  myself in God’s beautiful hand.

“I once was blind, but now I see.”

I was blinded by the stress and grief to the beautiful plan God has for my life. God has a plan for my life I may not know what it is right now, but  I am sure it is full of blessings and sunshine.

Covered in Amazing Grace,


 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”- Jeremiah 29:11


All-in with God

“My aim is to say no to self and yes to Jesus every time.”
– William Borden
William Whiting Borden was born in 1887, to William Borden and Mary Degama Whiting. Borden graduated for Yale University in 1909 and later from Princeton Theological Seminary. He was heir to Borden Inc. (evaporated milk), but chose to give his life to the work of Jesus Christ and became a missionary to the Muslims of Northern China. He died when he was 25years old and is buried in the American Cemetery in Cairo.
After his death, his family received his Bible; in it they found three phrases and three dates.
‘ No reserves’ and the date he decided to do Chris’s work.
‘ No retreats’ with the date his father told him he could not work in the family business. And shortly before he passed away, he wrote,’No regrets’.
There is a point I told you the story of William Borden; he was all-in. He trusted God with everything, his life. He put all his chips on the table and allowed God to work through him.
When you are playing a game of poker and have, what you think, is a really hand, you go all in. Which means you put all your chip in the center of the table and hold nothing back. Same with what God wants.
God wants us to lay all the chips of our life on the center of the table and hold nothing back; be all in. Trust God with your life, your hopes, your dreams, your relationships, and your future. Don’t hold anything back, be all-in.
No reserves.
No retreats.
No regrets.

In His Love,

Mary Hannah


Daughter of the One True King

Every little girl wants to be a princess. Princesses live in castles, wear fancy clothes, have people wait on them, someday will marry the prince and don’t forget the tiara. Who would NOT want to be royal?

I was talking to one of my good friends, Morgan, who wants to be royal. Well we will not be making that trip, but she opened my eyes to the fact that we are daughters of the One True King, so in fact we ARE royal. I have always heard, ‘I am a princess because my father is the King of Kings’. But until that moment, I never understood that we are in a royal family.

All the followers of Jesus Christ are princess and princess, but we have to wait until we get to Heaven. When we enter those gates, we will see the palace we will live in. it will be bigger and shinier than the Buckingham Palace in England. And we will receive our tiaras (crowns) that will be so exquisite.

I’m a princess of a royal line that stretches back to Biblical times. We can walk around with the confidence that we are princes and princesses. Nothing can hold us down you are a child of the One True King; you are royal.

Daughter of the One True King,