Swimming Up Stream

“You just say what’s on your mind?”
I replied, “Yep!”
God has been reminding me of that conversation to tell me I live in a state of fear. To be honest, I rarely say what’s on my mind. Fear stops me from opening my mouth. I fear being misunderstood, judged, or worse… rejected.
I will go with the flow instead of being the salmon going up stream.
I have been misunderstood and rejected in the past and am working toward to that not happening again. Rejection for me has been heartbreak and for the record, it didn’t feel good. However, I made it through that heartbreak and believe what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  Rejection is a part of life. It is a lousy part of life, but still a part of life. That is also why I don’t expose to much of my heart to strangers. I am a girl who DOESN’T wear her heart on her sleeve.
“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”- Proverbs 4:23
I hold that as a verse near and dear to my heart. if I lose my heart, I’ll lose who I am, which is why I have to see if someone’s motives are true before I remove my mask. 
My biggest fear is rejection. I want to be liked to be loved, but I understand that not everyone is going to like me. I can be very blunt about what is on my mind, but only on special occasions. Rejection is my biggest fear today, but in years gone by I was afraid of the dark, that is until I found the light that outshines the darkness (John 1:5). I was afraid of my house catching fire, then I realized what will worrying over that add to my life (Matthew 6:27 NLT).  Being rejected is a constant fear of mine, but I will lean into the One who will never leave me, never abandon me, reject me, or forsake me.
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”
Hebrews 13:8 NLT
 

You Matter

You matter. Whoever you are. If you are breathing, you were made with a purpose on purpose. You matter, no matter what color, religion, or sexual orientation. We all matter to God. Not a single one of us is more important than the other. God gave you a gift when you entered this world. I don’t know what that purpose is, I just know there is proof.

“God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.”
‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭4:10‬ ‭NLT

I don’t think God gave us the gift of rioting and looting, but of peace and love. That is what we are lacking in the world today, peace and love. Instead all this chaos and hate.

I do not like conflict or chaos. I like peace and order. I am a peacemaker/peacekeeper and the conflict we are in is breaking my heart. God is not the author of conflict, but of peace.

“For God is not a God of disorder but of peace, as in all the meetings of God’s holy people.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭14:33‬ ‭NLT‬‬

There is no telling when this will all end, but I know with the peace that passes all understanding (Phil.47). It’ll come sooner.

You matter. Black Americans matter. White Americans matter. Girls matter. Boys matter. Law Enforcement matters. We are all citizens of this nation under God, let’s not forget it.