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Peace at Heart

I was  working on a post about hope, when my cousin texted me Isaiah 26:3,

“You will keep in perfect peace

him whose mind is steadfast,

because he trusts in you.”

She knows me so well that she probably knows I’m stressing over things I have no control over. And that assumption I correct. Last week I was riding stress on an emotional roller coaster, that was terrible! When I would be in tears people told me ‘It’ll be okay. it’ll be okay, is what my head I telling my heart. but it does seem to calm my racing heart. The one thing that will calm me is quality time with Jesus. Last weekend,  I had planned to have an awesome me&Jesus weekend and it didn’t work out that way. it turned out to be a very stressful weekend. but last Friday night I pulled an all-nighter with Jesus. it was a precious time that I will remember for years. I laid on the couch and watched Bethel Music lyric videos and cried. that cry and being with Jesus was what I need to face this week, not to say I haven’t cried this week. :/

one of my favorite Bible verses is found in Psalms. Psalms 46:10,

“Be still and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth.”

I am beating myself up for forgetting that verse while these dark storm clouds hovered over me. it flashed in my mind when my cousin texted me! I have been so caught up in what I can’t fix, and left God the sideline. And I need Him to take some of this stress off of me and place my heart in a peaceful place. I want peace at heart.

Dear God,

I want peace, peace in my heart. you know what I’m dealing with probably better than I do. you know the peace I need and the peace we all need. We need peace in our communities and peace in our lives. Awaken us to your precious peace.

in Jesus Name, Amen

Much Love,

Mary Hannah

P.S.

After writing this I feel so much better. having a blog was the best idea ever.

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In Over My Head

I am so stressed out and I hate it. I hate having so much on my plate that I am overwhelmed.

Fun Fact: When dealing with stressed Mary Hannah, let her bake something. it doesn’t matter what, but baking makes me feel so much better. Baking helps me reconnect with  my grandmother.  Baking was something we shared. We made some great memories over her Kitchen Aid mixer! It been three years now since she’s been gone, but it feel like yesterday. No one will ever know just how close we were. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss her. especially right now during this season of life, when I really want to cry. she would say, ‘Girls don’t need a reason to cry’. Actually whenever I’m in a mood let me bake.

This morning during my Jesus time, I was on my knees crying out to Him.

‘I cant handle this God, take this from me.’

in Mark 14:36, Jesus crys out to God to take this cup from him, to be put to death on the cross for you and me.

I was crying out that God would take my overflowing cup of emotional stress from me and when I stood up I felt a release, a weight lifted off my shoulders. But I still feel like I need to bake something.  I’m human and I am still stressing. Humans stress over irrational things when they know God is in control of the situation. I felt like I was in over my head in emotional stress and I heard Bethel Music’s  In Over My Head  (my new fave, I cant share the video b/c my laptop is stupid and 3 years old, but I recommend looking it up on youtube). And realized even when I am drowning in stress, I am still drowning in His unending, unfailing, perfect love.

There has been a picture in my mind of a father greeting a child with open arms. Arms of love. I think back to the Prodigal Son ( Luke 15:11-31) and how he thought his father was gonna take him bac as a slave, but his dad was was so happy and joyful when his son was in sight; he threw a PARTY!

I think God has been waiting for my moment of surrender and today we threw a party! today was a good day(including free coffee, great conversation and an awesome movie with friends) after that moment of surrender and I will cherish that moment forever! . And it has been a long time coming, but I have surrendered my stress into those loving arms. And it feels so good!

Much Love,

not so stressed

Mary Hannah

 

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Wishes

I remember blowing dandelion seeds

Making a wish and setting it free

Now I am riding the wind

Don’t know where I’m going but know where I’ve been

My life is a mystery

A changing season

One thing after another changes me

Another dream chattered

Another goal laid astray

I have blown away

But I am trusting God’s plan for me

What will I be?

The journey is in your hand

I will trust your plan

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When God speaks, mountains move

Sometimes God uses the things we acknowledge to tell us what we need to hear.

This past Wednesday, I went to the Wesley Foundation at UGA by myself. It was the first time I had been to this worship service by myself. However, when the worship team started the service with one of my favorite worship songs,Head to the Heart by United Pursuit.

I knew it was going to be a big night for me.

After the message, on 1 Peter, we went back into worship. During the song, Good, Good, Father , I felt God whisper exactly what I needed to hear.

“Mary Hannah, I am working all things together for your good.”

It was crazy, but at the same time, I felt at peace about everything that I have been confused about. College, moving, relationships, my future, other life stuff. In the last year, I have felt so close to God, but I never thought He knew me. As if, he knew my face, but not my name. When that happened. Tears came. He knows my name! The God who created the seas, put the stars in the sky, knows me! That moment is mind blowing. He knows my name. He is standing in the gap for me. He is splitting my seas, so I walk right through them. When God speaks, mountains move.

The second part of the message, He was making me a promise. A promise out of a verse, I had heard for years, but never really studied the meaning behind it.

Romans 8:28,

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose.” (NIV)

Every experience, every tragedy, every moment of everyday, is working for my good, for my future. He knows what college I’ll go to, He knows what relationship are good for me. He knows what the future holds for me. God already knows what the next right thing is for me. Enough about me.

God can speak to you too, you just need to quiet your spirit and listen. He knows you. He knows everything about you, but loves you anyway! The promise of Romans 8:28 is for you too. He is working all things together for your good. God has a plan for you, a plan to give you hope and a future.

 

Much love,

Mary Hannah

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A letter of encouragement to a graduate

As I sat in the audience of two different graduations this year, I was drawn back to last year at this time, when yours truly graduated. I started thinking of what I would say to myself if I could go back. I wrote it in letter form and would like to share it! Enjoy!!

Dear Mary Hannah,

                You’re graduating high school. That’s a big accomplishment. So what if it a year late. There is no age limit on life. There is no rush to get out of high school. The friends you’ve made during high school are not just acquaintances. Don’t let depression seep in, it will try, because “you left all your friends back in high school”. Those are the people you will need the most one day. The people who will make you laugh when you really want to cry. The people who will drop everything to come to your rescue.

                Remember everything you achieved during high school. All the awards and the gift.  The trials you have overcome to reach this goal are many. During this time of waiting on the Lord, don’t get depressed, God is not done working in and through you (John 7:15). Lives will be change because of how you live. You need to remember the accomplishment you have made and the things that make you uniquely you. The friends, who will carry through this dark time of waiting for the next right thing, will be some of the biggest blessings in your life. Remember blessings will come on the other side of this change.

                A chapter in your life is closing, but it is not the conclusion. God has big things in mind for you. Bigger than what we can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). The next chapter is on the horizon and it’s terrifying. The next chapter is entitled your future. Even when we don’t know what’s over the next mountain, God is already there. Take heart, God has a plan and purpose for you (Jeremiah 29:11) in this next chapter and for the rest of your life. Don’t give up when the future scares you, God will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 5:13)

Sincerely,

“Adult” Mary Hannah

 

 

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Choosing to be content

“Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have” ~Philippians 4:11

When I was ten, I got a crash course in being content. That year my father went back to school and we were without income. We had to live on less, but that time we lived on more than most. Yes, we had to make sacrifices, but we grew together as a family more closely. We learned to love spaghetti and waffles with peanut butter and syrup. Two of the sacrifices, we made were giving up Cable and Internet. We have not gotten it back since, and it has been almost eleven years now. I grew up fine; we played outside in the dirt.

I vividly remember that Christmas, when Mom gave my younger brother and I the JCPenny’s Christmas catalog and her instructions were,

‘You can look at this, but you can’t say ‘I want.’’

That time showed me, that I did not need the newest thing to survive.

In today’s time, I think it is rare to find someone content with what they have. We are so wrapped up in having the newest thing that we do not enjoy what we have at this moment. We live in an instant world, where we can get everything in a second and we lose the virtue of being content. According to the Webster Collegiate Dictionary, ‘content’ is, ‘satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.’ Staying satisfied is not something you learn overnight. It has taken me years of practice to be content and not wanting anything more than what I have right now. I am not a patient person; I like things to happen right now! However, being a Christ-follower means things will not happen right when I want them to. Everything happens in God’s timing and for a reason. There is a reason behind every detail of your life. In addition, during that waiting, you have to be content with what God has given you right now. I am thankful I learned to be content when I was ten so it makes the waiting a little less painful. Being content is not easy nor painless, but I think it is a requirement for life.

 

I chose at the beginning of the year to be content with whatever God threw at me. And this year God has thrown a lot at me (and it’s only May), but I know if I cannot stand up under the pressure, He is right there for me.

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”-1 Thessalonians 5:18

 

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He is strong

You could say I am a strong person.

Yeah, that’s a lie. Don’t believe it. I just put on a hard cover that I am made of steel.When I am really breaking apart on the inside. I don’t show my emotion a lot, but when I do the rain pours. Certain things will set me off and I’ll for like 20 solid minutes. It’s like a facet behind my eyes that won’t shut off. So when something sets me off, hold on. It is neither attractive or cute, when I cry.

but the good news is, I don’t have to stay strong I can breakdown and cry for no reason. my precious grandmother told me, ‘Girls don’t need a reason to cry.’ But when I am weak He is strong. When I am stressed, He is strong. When I am breaking apart, He is strong.

Because of His strength in me, today I am going to show my emotions without shame.

He strong in me.

“God arms me with strength, and he makes my way perfect.”-Psalm 18:32