I am so stressed out and I hate it. I hate having so much on my plate that I am overwhelmed.
Fun Fact: When dealing with stressed Mary Hannah, let her bake something. it doesn’t matter what, but baking makes me feel so much better. Baking helps me reconnect with my grandmother. Baking was something we shared. We made some great memories over her Kitchen Aid mixer! It been three years now since she’s been gone, but it feel like yesterday. No one will ever know just how close we were. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss her. especially right now during this season of life, when I really want to cry. she would say, ‘Girls don’t need a reason to cry’. Actually whenever I’m in a mood let me bake.
This morning during my Jesus time, I was on my knees crying out to Him.
‘I cant handle this God, take this from me.’
in Mark 14:36, Jesus crys out to God to take this cup from him, to be put to death on the cross for you and me.
I was crying out that God would take my overflowing cup of emotional stress from me and when I stood up I felt a release, a weight lifted off my shoulders. But I still feel like I need to bake something. I’m human and I am still stressing. Humans stress over irrational things when they know God is in control of the situation. I felt like I was in over my head in emotional stress and I heard Bethel Music’s In Over My Head (my new fave, I cant share the video b/c my laptop is stupid and 3 years old, but I recommend looking it up on youtube). And realized even when I am drowning in stress, I am still drowning in His unending, unfailing, perfect love.
There has been a picture in my mind of a father greeting a child with open arms. Arms of love. I think back to the Prodigal Son ( Luke 15:11-31) and how he thought his father was gonna take him bac as a slave, but his dad was was so happy and joyful when his son was in sight; he threw a PARTY!
I think God has been waiting for my moment of surrender and today we threw a party! today was a good day(including free coffee, great conversation and an awesome movie with friends) after that moment of surrender and I will cherish that moment forever! . And it has been a long time coming, but I have surrendered my stress into those loving arms. And it feels so good!
not so stressed