I am a planner.
I have had my life planned out since middle school. I would go to the University of Georgia’s journalism college, and then make a living as a writer. The ultimate goal was to be a New York Time’s Best-Selling author. That has always been my plan.
Last night, a friend was asking me my plans. I told her, ‘I’m kind of torn. It has been my dream to do journalism since middle school, but I feel God is calling me to go into social work to be a counselor.’
When I asked God into my life, I agreed for him to have his way in my life. Maybe fifteen minutes after that conversation, a the speaking pastor at a collegiate worship service said, ‘ Spiritual maturity is going after what God wants for you and saying no to what we want.’ When I heard that, it was like a punch in the stomach. I have been so focused on what I want and have pushed God’s intentions to the side.
For years I have prayed,
Show me the direction you want me to take with my future. It is all about you. I will go wherever you lead me.’
but I was too focused on what I wanted opposed to what God wanted for me. I have kept the dream of being a journalist as an idol and pushed God’s dreams and goals for me on the back burner.
In the worship that followed, I realized that I had been going about my future all wrong. I had been so attentive on what I wanted and had not even considered the future God has planned for me. A future so worth living.
This morning I went in prayer to God, and asked for forgiveness for my unawareness to his plan and purpose for me. Now, I can truly say that I am living for God. For his glory!